Archive for October, 2010

I am full of good intentions, regularly and frequently.  I know I should probably be 10-15 lbs lighter than I am.  I also know that if I simply gave up wine, or alcohol in general I would actually have to do very little else to lose this weight.   And at various times in the last couple of years I have planned on doing just this.

The problem is, every time I try to put this plan into action motherhood gets in my way.  Despite the fact that even a one piece bathing suit scares me to death/I can’t zip up my jeans/I’m going back home to visit family and friends 6 lbs heavier than when I last saw them, something always comes up that has me thinking, “oh god, just a few more hours to go until wine o’clock.”

Right now I’m at that time of the year when I start thinking about putting my, “make space for the holidays” diet into action.   It’s simple really, the holidays are just around the corner and with them all those foods I know I should not be eating; chocolate, pastries, vegetables cooked in oil, cheeses, chips and dips…ok I need to stop now, drool is not good for the keyboard.  But I have a cunning plan.  You see if I lose 6 to 8 lbs now, I can eat up to this number of extra calories over the holidays and I’m at least no worse off than I started.  Clever eh?!

So the plan is in place, non-stop salads and wine only on weekends (after all you’re not supposed to make any drastic changes to your diet without consulting a doctor right?) Except that…number 2 daughter hasn’t taken a daytime nap for me in at least two weeks.  Give up wine?  You must be joking, it’s the only thing keeping me sane!

So I guess I’ll just have to accept it.  Abstinence and kids just don’t mix.   What the hell, if I eat nothing but salad and keep running up and down the stairs in response to “Mommy!!!” perhaps I can have another glass!  Cheers!


I have to ask! What is up with these crazy bands?  Am I missing something?   They’re just rubber bands in the shape of some object right?  But my kid and I’m sure yours too, is going .…well crazy over them.

Perhaps too many years have passed since I was 7, surely we must have had the equivalent item when we were that age, but I just don’t remember having anything that was quite so pointless.

So why did you buy them for her in the first place, I hear you cry.  Well that was down to another ill-conceived idea on my part whereby I planned a vacation away on her birthday.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to find enough gifts to satisfy a 7 year old’s dream vision of the perfect birthday pile, whilst being small and light enough not to incur twice the value of said gifts in additional baggage charges?   After several hours wandering around and around Toys R Us and scouring the web, this is what I came up with: several items that could be utilized as distractions on a rainy afternoon or during the plane ride (smart move as I would probably have had to bring these anyway), jibbets (another completely pointless item, but which I am willing to admit to the decorative value of), a yoyo and crazy bands!

Now I should have seen where this was all going when she carefully took the items out of the packet, organized them fastidiously on the table making a mental note of what she had, grouped them by type or color and then spot checked several times a day to make sure that her 2 year old sister hadn’t snuck up and whisked one away.  But in all honesty I was too busy congratulating myself on what an amazing mom I was finding something so perfect given the obstacles I faced.

And naively I thought that after a few weeks of fun they would lose their interest.  But no, she has simply expanded her collection, including glow-in-the-dark bands and now rings (which can be worn on the finger as opposed to wrist or ankle).  She talks with a far away look in her eye of finding rare combinations of shape and color and has had to be consoled several times after trading some precious item only to regret it later upon realizing their true irreplaceable value.

Not only do I find myself driving around Chicago on a Sunday morning to find the ‘must have packet’, but my daughter also has me on my hands and knees several times a day finding the <elephant/guitar/banana> that she “definitely left right here” and now is nowhere to be found.  I have even been known to perform major surgery using superglue and a toothpick on a particularly special broken band.

And this isn’t the worst of it, I have now bought several packs for my 2 year old, yes 2 year old! Because as we all know, even if on its own it holds absolutely no interest to a younger sibling, even if they have no clue what they are supposed to do with it and minutes after getting hold of it they discard it, if their older sibling has something that they absolutely do not want the younger one to have, the younger one automatically HAS to have it!

So now I have 2 piles of crazy bands to take care of, 2 sets to keep track of, avoid running the vacuum cleaner over or generally sweeping up with a bunch of other stuff and losing.

And yet, I started all this, so I have to confess, perhaps the only crazy thing around here is me!

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