Archive for September, 2013
Sep
26

To say that last year was a slow writing year for me would be an understatement (not including the mindless drivel I posted on Facebook, at that I did a pretty stellar job).

At the beginning of the year I decided that with both kids in school all day for the first time, this would be the year I would write my second novel.  But then I decided to give myself 3 months off to recoup, relax and establish a new routine first.  What I actually managed to do was fill my day with a bunch of stuff, that I still have no idea how I found time to do before.  By this point the thought of writing an entire book just seemed too huge to contemplate and then simply writing anything, even a short blog entry became an impossible challenge.  I guess that’s the definition of writers block.

At first the realization of how little I had done left me feeling pretty crappy and disappointed in myself, but the reality was, I had just given myself too daunting a goal to achieve.  I also realized that all this negativity was not  going to be the catalyst I needed to move forward.  I therefore decided to reflect first on what I had achieved last year.

For example, I managed to laundry often enough that Mo and Flo never had to go to school commando.  I also managed to shop for and feed my family enough nutritious meals that not one of them got scurvy.   But most importantly I managed to survive what was mentally a much tougher transition than I had realized it would be, without allowing myself to fall headfirst into a vat of dirty sweat pant, non showering self pity.  Because whilst I joked about shoving Flo through the school  doors with a breezy, “see you later I’m off to enjoy 8 hours of uninterrupted peace and quiet,” in fact it was quite a deeply unsettling change for me.  Not just missing hanging out with Flo, but how it changed how I viewed my role. The lack of tangible goals and successes is something that has always left me struggling to recognize my value as a SAHM and taking the childcare element out of a big chunk of my day made this even more challenging.

So onto next year.  Whilst I realize that it is still more constructive to set goals ahead of time rather than retrofit them to suit what I actually did, this year I have decided to set my self up for success rather than failure.  So instead I’m going to set myself a promise, to write every week.  Sometimes it may be a little, sometimes it may be a lot, but in the process I hope to rediscover my love of writing and my creative voice.  And hey, I might even send the kids to school in clean socks too!

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